Leavers Remorse

Going through the motions
Looking like I’m really here
In my head I’m away with you
A last dance filled with fear
That I will always be alone
Just me, no partner, no sound
I miss you terribly; it’s pain
I fear never having anyone around
What if I got it wrong
What if my sights are set too high
What if I shouldn’t have ended it
Shouldn’t have reacted the other night
We’d be happy now, with hope
We’d be making love once more
I’d be able to be present in the day
Knowing “an us” was in store

Echoes of Intimate Us

Bonded, bound.
To those blue eyes
Secret soul I found
Ultimate loving prize

On a path to joy
But took a turn away
In one step hopes destroy
Lamentable sad day

Haunting azure glow
Echoes of intimate us
A love I will always know
Now reduced to dust

Tears in my Eyes

A pain at my centre
Tears in my eyes
An ache for emotion
All thoughts I despise
Stuck in the moment
When I’m sat with you
You broken in pain
Because, we are through.
The love in between us
Grown ever-so fast
Was real and gave hope
Of a bond, built to last
But the differences
Rose from within to without
Proving no future
Decided, no doubt.
Still emotional tethers
Connect you and I
Hence the pain I am feeling
And the tears in my eyes.

Your Absence

Silence in your absence
No messages to make the day seem sweet
No plans with friends, dates out together
No secret romantic late night meet.
Feelings still active, heart still engaged
Daydreaming about you, wondering how you are
Wanting to make sure you are happy, protected
But unable to contact you, distant, apart.
Can’t tell you about my day, how it went
Can’t share my successes, fears or how I feel
Can’t plan for our future, can’t see a way through
With no witness, no partner, life looses its appeal.
There is no one to protect, no goal for my love
You’re not at my side, my hand has no pair
Existence is loneliness, melancholy, solitude
You’re not here, worst of all I know you’re not there.

I Choose to Leave

It’s not as it was
Stoic silent stance
I’m hurt and worried
Theres no second chance
To make good the bad
Words you said in rage
That hit at my heart
Can I turn the page?
Keep on writing
This tale of two in love
When one is so unkind
Sorry is not enough
The pattern revealed
Repeats for all time
A give and take divide
No one shines
You don’t love me
In a way that I’d like
I can’t make you happy
Try as I might
You go find yourself
I’ll my hope retrieve
I chose to love you
Now I choose to leave

Don’t Leave Me

Say it
Tell me you do
Don’t leave me like this
I’ve said it to you
Say you love me
This has all been a dream
And on waking
Stop the pain extreme
I cannot cope
There is no way
For me to repair
After this torrid day
You’ve rocked me
You’ve sprung a trap
Said you need an out
Because of the gap
Between you and I
How I am and what you need
You’ve made a choice
But it’s not agreed
Just say you do
Or even that you might
Don’t end all this
When happiness was in sight

Black Dog Calls

Cornered, trapped
Black dog calls
Melancholy
Towering walls
Lift descends
Bottom of the well
Sinking stomach
Feeling unwell
Lack of grip
No steps to take
Fallen down
Laid low, a fake
The masquerade
Of muddling through
Slips and breaks
Exposing you
Not good enough
Not happy or glad
Loathing of self
Bereft and sad
An anxious mind
Crushes all hope
Poisoned heart
With no antidote
Numbed from joy
Immersed in pain
Doused in dark
In tears again
The black dog calls
I sit alone
Surviving hurt
All on my own

Together Down River

A day afloat
Creating happy waves
Aboard a narrowboat
And as the dull light fades
A cosy fire, warm room
She prepares to go out
We are leaving soon
A couple in no doubt
That here is harmony
Between these two
Without words many
Love is in what they do
Comfort in small gains
Talking so as to grow
Therapy airing old pains
Sharing so as to better know
Themselves and each other
Aware of attachment style
Their secure base uncovered
Together down river for a very long while

Relationship Wrecked

Wretched conflict
You should have
But you couldn’t
You were too swept up in being you to realise
That you shouldn’t
Have said what you said
Meant what you did
I’d have been better off running
I wish that I’d hid
This news that would hurt you
I tried to protect
Now it’s wretched conflict
Our relationship wrecked

The End of Your World

You will rue this day
Your time has been called
She’s started a fight
The end of your world
She’s said things in anger
That cannot be unsaid
Words like “we’re done
Now reside in your head
She’s questioned your love
Labelled you liar and worse
So now regardless of a make up
Your bond now holds the curse
Of questionable foundation
Twists in the honest base
That will sap all efforts to build
An insipid disease laying waste
To the pillars of beauty
The care you’d overseen
The warmth in your coupling
How together you’d been
Your hurt and your anguish
Corrode the heart at your core
She’s called time on your hope
All promise is lost, “us” is no more

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