Solace you seek

Chattering voices
Hammer at my brow
Bickering rivals
In endless bitter row

Conflicting views
To stay or to go
To love or to leave
To say yes or cry no

Imagined responses
To arguments not made
What ifs of harrowing hurt
To statements unsaid

Resolution remote
Cross our unspoken divide
Courage gathered to try
Now tempted to hide

Enter the fray
Start talking your mind
Explain how you feel
Gentle, forthright and kind

Dappled light
Enters mild and meek
Fleeting taste of
The solace you seek

Dog biscuits in my pocket

Didn’t know we weren’t complete
Didn’t see the vacant space
That was there for you all along
Your new position at our place

Sleeping under the table
Curled up by me on the couch
Your den nestled in the corner
Leads, toys and training pouch

Hectic greetings of an evening
“Old man” walking off to bed
Proud of you playing at the dog park
Images for all time in my head

You’ll forever be a Sanders
You’ll always be our loving Miska
Thanks for all you’ve given us
The dog we’d always wished for

I will miss you in the morning
Your company I will grieve
Dog biscuits in my pocket
Broken heart upon my sleeve

Love is like being Cursed

A single tear rolls down my cheek
Lying in bed no will to wake
Thinking of you and that you’re not here
For all the difference it will make
There’s happiness deep within me
A sense that we can be whole
That you are my forever one
That my quest has found its goal
My heart heaves and I sigh
My body aches for a lack of you
My mind races through all you are
Agitated, addicted, nothing to do
No way to scratch the itch
Nothing to do to slake the thirst
Being in love is to be blessed
But in your absence it’s like being cursed

Contactless Now Go

Headphones on, the stairs I descend
Dreaming of the working days end
Step onto empty littered street
With no one around to greet
Turn and head for the northern tube
Past the fractured bus stop queue
Pause for coffee to ease morning low
Attempt to break the silence with hello
The barista doesn’t want to know
Hands over the cup and leaves you contactless now go

Train filled with vacant stares
Commuters who aren’t really there
Minds away from where they are
Thoughts of escape to take them off afar
Grey bubbles passing from A to Z
Repeated patterns from first breath to bed
Eyes fixed on the slatted floor,
Standing, waiting, but what for?
Didn’t we all want more?
Cold and contactless huddled lonely by the door

Battles of the Exes

Battle of the exes
Fight to the end
Final landed blow
No longer a friend
No longer civil
Trying to lay blame
Wherever they will
To avoid the shame
Of a bonding fail
That might be due
To their actions
Don’t continue
To hit out at me
When I gain zero
Can’t fix this mess
Neither of us heroes
Neither of us evil
We just tried and fell
Fell short of the goal
But no need for hell
In trying to point fingers
To assess exact whys
Dragging us to negatives
Make us each other despise
Stop this tirade
Just rest and calm
Move to be still again
Don’t attack or self harm
We’ve both learned
Both added to heart and mind
Repair and heal
You will another find

Melancholy’s Veil

She’s stands alone near tube train rail
Forlorn and low, under melancholy’s veil
Her eyes are dark, devoid of light
Her heart a shadow black as night
Whomever she has lost or left
Her soul was torn, her hope bereft
A broken woman, sad and meek
Lacking the will to live, too weak
To raise her head or meet your eye
She shrinks from life and wonders why
Her path became so overgrown
To force her down, all on her own
With thorns and ghosts and things to fear
No way out, and no one near
Her footing lose, no way to climb
No meaning, no plan, no positive sign
The tube arrives and on she steps
An empty shell since she left her ex.

Echoes of Intimate Us

Bonded, bound.
To those blue eyes
Secret soul I found
Ultimate loving prize

On a path to joy
But took a turn away
In one step hopes destroy
Lamentable sad day

Haunting azure glow
Echoes of intimate us
A love I will always know
Now reduced to dust

Tears in my Eyes

A pain at my centre
Tears in my eyes
An ache for emotion
All thoughts I despise
Stuck in the moment
When I’m sat with you
You broken in pain
Because, we are through.
The love in between us
Grown ever-so fast
Was real and gave hope
Of a bond, built to last
But the differences
Rose from within to without
Proving no future
Decided, no doubt.
Still emotional tethers
Connect you and I
Hence the pain I am feeling
And the tears in my eyes.

Your Absence

Silence in your absence
No messages to make the day seem sweet
No plans with friends, dates out together
No secret romantic late night meet.
Feelings still active, heart still engaged
Daydreaming about you, wondering how you are
Wanting to make sure you are happy, protected
But unable to contact you, distant, apart.
Can’t tell you about my day, how it went
Can’t share my successes, fears or how I feel
Can’t plan for our future, can’t see a way through
With no witness, no partner, life looses its appeal.
There is no one to protect, no goal for my love
You’re not at my side, my hand has no pair
Existence is loneliness, melancholy, solitude
You’re not here, worst of all I know you’re not there.

Relationship Wrecked

Wretched conflict
You should have
But you couldn’t
You were too swept up in being you to realise
That you shouldn’t
Have said what you said
Meant what you did
I’d have been better off running
I wish that I’d hid
This news that would hurt you
I tried to protect
Now it’s wretched conflict
Our relationship wrecked

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